1. Regardless of reasons or rationalization, it is inadvisable to mix consumption of even a moderate amount of wine with operation of heavy equipment, automobiles, or cat-feeding syringes.
2. Heavy duty spray cleaner with bleach *will* effectively remove the 2' x 2' spatter pattern from the ceiling that results from imprudent disregard for Note to Self #1. It will also leave white spots on your favorite raspberry-colored cotton sweater.
3. While incredibly effective for keeping hair in place, a high-fat, high calorie prescription cat food enriched with appetite stimulants, antibiotics, and various liver-support supplements is NOT a desirable alternative to hairstyling mousse, due to its pungent aroma, which is no doubt intended to entice anorexic cats.
4. Arrange to meet Sue's coworker who described tube-feeding a cat as "messy and putzy, but well worth it," to bestow Understatement of the Year award.
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